Let Yourself Feel Before Life Forces You To

Recently, I came to a deep realization about myself. It hit me while reflecting on both my True Sky Sidereal chart and my Tropical chart. In my tropical chart, I have a Capricorn Moon, and in True Sky, I have a Sagittarius Moon. At first glance, these placements may seem different — one grounded and stoic, the other philosophical and free-spirited — but what they both have in common is this:

I often tend to intellectualize my emotions rather than feel them.

I catch myself analyzing, rationalizing, and philosophizing about my experiences instead of letting myself sit in the rawness of what I’m going through. I try to make sense of pain instead of simply feeling it.

Growing up, I was raised in a household where emotions weren’t really discussed — not until they became too intense to ignore. I watched both of my parents bury their emotions in hard work and walk on eggshells around their own feelings. So naturally, I internalized that approach.

If you know me, you know I create a massive amount of music in a short amount of time. Some of it is deeply introspective, but truthfully, a lot of it has been my way of staying productive rather than present. I’ve often processed my emotions after the fact — looking for the solution before I’ve even allowed myself to feel the pain.

But over time, I’ve come to understand something:

I don’t have to wear strength as a mask just to appear strong.

As men — especially Black men — we’re often taught that showing emotion isn’t cool, that vulnerability equals weakness. Society puts pressure on us to suppress what we feel until it boils over — and by the time it does, it comes out in destructive ways.

I’ve noticed that the only times I’ve really cried were during catastrophes — when the emotions became too overwhelming to contain, and I acted out in ways that weren’t aligned with who I truly am. But underneath all of that was someone who genuinely cared and didn’t know how to express it in the moment.

Now, I’m actively working on allowing myself to feel what I need to feel — as it happens. Because yes, it’s cool to be the philosopher… but even the philosopher has to feel before they can understand. Real wisdom doesn’t come from skipping the pain — it comes from facing it.

It’s not about being unaffected — it’s about not being controlled by what you feel.

That’s why people say to make decisions from a neutral space — because whether you’re riding an emotional high or drowning in a low, choices made in those extremes often lead to regret. And while I don’t believe in judging myself harshly, I’ve had moments where I’ve looked back and thought:

“If I had taken a step back, really processed what I was feeling, and moved from a more centered space… I might’ve done things differently.”

This isn’t just a spiritual principle or a religious lesson — this is life.

The more we allow ourselves to feel, before our bodies force us to, the more we’re able to truly heal.

Because healing starts with honesty.

And honesty starts with you.