Love, Vulnerability, Transparency

 Love Through Transparency


A few days ago, I was on the phone with my boy 33. We were chopping it up, catching up on life, kicking spiritual game, and sharing our passion for music and future plans. During the convo, we reflected on how our bond started—how in the beginning, I was guarded and hesitant to be fully open with him.


The truth is, I had been open with people in the past, and it left me heartbroken—resentful, even. I didn’t want to feel that pain again. So naturally, I kept my walls up.


But despite my resistance, 33 created a space where I felt safe to be real. Transparent. Over time, that foundation evolved into something solid—now, we’re like brothers. If I haven’t heard from him in a while, I’ll hit him up. He does the same for me. We’re both strong-minded with bold opinions, and we don’t always agree—but we never take it personally. We operate on the frequency of love.


And that love started with transparency.


See, a lot of people don’t feel like they have safe spaces to be vulnerable. Often, vulnerability gets weaponized, so when it comes time to speak your truth, you hesitate—or stay silent altogether. But here’s the thing: we can’t take everything people do or say personally. Most of the time, we’re responding to what we think we understand about them—not the full picture.


That’s not to say “your feelings don’t matter.” They do. You’re allowed to feel how you feel. But don’t let pain turn your heart cold. Sometimes we bleed so much from old wounds that we end up bleeding on people who never even cut us.


As someone who feels deeply and knows what it’s like not to have a safe space, I’ve realized I have to be that safe space for others. And yeah, there will be moments when I’m not in the right emotional place to hold space for someone. But even then, I’ve learned to say, “I’m emotionally unavailable right now.” That honesty—that transparency—is love. Love for them, and love for myself.


A lot of us were taught to say, “Whenever you need me, I’ll be there.” But now, I say:

“If I’m emotionally capable of hearing you out, I’ll be there.”


It makes a difference. It keeps your cup from running dry. It also stops the pattern of people feeling like they’re a burden when they reach out.


Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person—even if someone tries to make you feel like it does. My boy 33 doesn’t always answer when I call, and I respect that. Because when we do talk, I know I’m getting the real, present version of him.


Sometimes we misread someone’s absence or unavailability as a lack of care. But the truth is, everybody’s going through something. It’s okay to feel disappointed when someone can’t show up for you—but love is when you still honor their free will without internalizing it as a personal rejection.


So I’ll leave you with this question:


In what ways do you need to show more transparency when it comes to love?


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